A Highly Scientific Analysis Of Hydration And Running Performance

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One of the greatest things about intense, long distance running (like the upcoming Quarantine 5K Run For Truth) is that it’s entirely acceptable to relieve yourself in the middle of the race without stopping so as not to impact your time. The freedom of this act has often been the high point of the race for me.

**Update - Michele has informed me that this isn’t acceptable at all. It seems the internet has lied to me again and I’m grateful that all of my running shorts are dark colors

Anyways, here’s everything you need to know about hydration and running:

  • Drinking a bunch of water right before the race (within 4 hours) isn’t really helpful as the body can’t really process it and it just makes you have to pee during the race. Since apparently we live in an incredibly uptight society this is not permitted

  • Drinking smaller portions leading up to the race and during is good

  • Pee looks like lemonade = good

  • Pee looks like apple juice = bad

And that’s the end of the science lecture. You’re welcome.

Glenn Crim