Start Slow, Then Taper Off - New Thoughts On Race Pace

Steve Wright is God

Anyone who has done a race with me knows my (proven) strategy. Start as fast as you can right from the beginning. This will do a number of things. It frightens your opponents with the sudden display of speed and determination. It also activates the fight or flight response in your body. Subconsciously your mind is going, “what the hell just happened? We better get outta here!!”. Adrenaline, much more than training or diet, wins races. Some will argue that you’ll run out of energy or hit the fictitious “wall”. The wall isn’t real. It was created by the people who make Gu sports gel. These people are evil. If you doubt that just try their margarita flavored gel. They should all be prison for that abomination. I apologize if you like that flavor and please know that I still care for you despite your horrible judgement in sports gel flavors. That’s a good quote, might sew that on a pillow.

Anywho, my training hasn’t gone exactly as planned. It’s definitely been better than I was doing before so I’m happy with that aspect but I’m not where I wanted to be. So, I’ve renamed the Quarantine 5K Race For Truth to the Quarantine 5K For Truth. See what I did there? I took out Race. When it’s not a race you can walk. You could even saunter or sashay if you’re inclined to (pics or it didn’t happen).

Now that the pressure is off I’m definitely going to get in 5K next Saturday, and that’s really the point of all this anyway. Just to get out and get some miles in.

My next thing to figure out is the swag bag distribution. When I kicked this off I thought there might be a chance that we could all run together, perhaps 10’ apart or something. Now I believe that’s a bad idea for everyone involved. I’m thinking of finding somewhere that we could pick up the bags in a responsible way. Perhaps a large parking lot or field and the bags could be in the center. One person grabs a bag, calls out the name of the next person, they grab a bag and so on. If anyone isn’t available for this or isn’t comfortable with it, no worries. Option two is curbside delivery from Glenn Grub Uber Postmate Dash. That’s just me bringing it to you somewhere and tossing it on your porch. Think of a paperboy but with a Santa Claus beard (and build) and in a Honda instead of on a bike. The name may or may not be on the vehicle, apparently there are some copyright things I need to work through.

So this is the feedback part of the post. Are there any preferences? I was thinking next Saturday after the runs/walks/sashays. Perhaps 10ish? Or if most folks can’t attend then I can begin my deliveries later that day. Either way you will have earned this treasure chest of goodies. That and a majority of the items were purchased from from the trunk of some guy I found on Craigslist. His return policy is strict (2.5 out of 5 star rating for the guy with the AC/DC t-shirt I met at the Plaid Pantry).

Let me know what you think. Either here or via text.